We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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