shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
