i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
