I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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