Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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