You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
