wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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