i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
