About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
