So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
