Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
PANTIES FOUND
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
