It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
