remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
