Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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