Ambien. No doubt about it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
