I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
