Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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