Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
