I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
