and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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