I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
