Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i wish my penis had a tongue
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
