Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
