I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
