I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
