She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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