Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
