You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
