Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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