You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
