I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
