He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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