last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
