CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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