So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my liver is dry heaving
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
