Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
