That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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