I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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