Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
