he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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