I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
