with your own penis?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
