addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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