I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
