Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
