Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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