How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
