I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
