Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am one with the molecules
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
