this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
