porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
