I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
