Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
